Why People Lose Confidence After Mental Illness...And How to Rebuild It

If you've experienced mental health challenges and found yourself withdrawing from social situations, avoiding opportunities, or feeling like you've lost your sense of self, you're not alone. Loss of confidence is a common and painful consequence of mental illness, yet it's rarely discussed openly.

The Hidden Barriers to Participation

A powerful study by Yotsidi and Kounenou explored what prevents people from fully engaging in community life after experiencing mental health challenges. Through focus groups with individuals living with psychotic disorders, researchers identified five key barriers:

• Low self-worth: Feeling fundamentally "less than" others

• Low motivation: Struggling to initiate activities or pursue goals

• Prior failures: Carrying the weight of past attempts that didn't work out

• Stigma: Both external judgment and internalized shame

• Fragmented social networks: Losing connections during illness and struggling to rebuild

  
  

These aren't character flaws. They're predictable psychological responses to the experience of mental illness in a society that doesn't always understand it.

When you are navigating mental health challenges, it can be difficult to participate in the way you would like

Why You Lose Confidence After Experiencing Mental Health Struggles

When you're navigating mental health challenges, your world often narrows. Energy goes toward managing symptoms, attending appointments, and simply getting through each day. Social connections may fade — not because people don't care, but because maintaining relationships requires energy you don't have.

Over time, this creates a painful cycle: isolation leads to fewer opportunities for positive social experiences, which reinforces the belief that you don't belong or can't succeed. Past attempts to re-engage may have felt overwhelming or ended in disappointment, making it harder to try again.

The stigma surrounding mental illness adds another layer. You might internalize messages that you're "broken" or "unreliable," even when these labels are completely untrue.

Rebuilding Social Confidence: Five Evidence-Based Steps

1. Start with Self-Compassion

Recognize that loss of confidence is a normal response to what you've been through. You haven't failed — you've been managing something difficult. Research shows that self-compassion is strongly linked to recovery outcomes.

2. Reconnect with One Person

You don't need to rebuild your entire social network at once. Choose one relationship that feels safe and manageable. This might be a family member, an old friend, or even a therapist. Consistent connection with just one person can begin to shift the pattern.

3. Set Micro-Goals

Instead of "get back out there," try "attend one community event this month" or "have coffee with a friend once." Small, achievable goals create positive experiences that rebuild your sense of capability.

4. Challenge Internalized Stigma

Notice when you're telling yourself stories like "I'm too damaged" or "No one wants to be around me." These thoughts are symptoms of internalized stigma, not facts. Working with a therapist can help you separate your identity from your illness experience.

5. Find Meaning-Based Activities

Participating in activities aligned with your values is more sustainable than forcing yourself into situations that don't matter to you. What did you care about before your illness? What small step could reconnect you with that?

The Manitoba Context

Living in rural or northern Manitoba adds unique challenges. Long winters, geographic isolation, and limited community resources can intensify feelings of disconnection. But Manitoba communities also have strengths: tight-knit networks, shared values of resilience, and a culture of helping neighbors.

If you're struggling with social confidence, consider that rebuilding doesn't mean returning to who you were before. It means discovering who you are now — with all the wisdom, strength, and depth that comes from what you've survived.

You Don't Have to Do This Alone

Recovery-oriented mental health support recognizes that rebuilding confidence is as important as managing symptoms. At Modern Delphi Counseling and Consulting, I work with adults navigating anxiety, depression, burnout, and complex mental health challenges. Together, we can create a personalized plan that honors where you are and supports where you want to go.

Maria Kent, RPN, MPN, is a Registered Psychiatric Nurse with over 20 years of experience providing recovery-oriented mental health care in Manitoba. Modern Delphi Counseling and Consulting offers virtual and in-person services for adults throughout the province.

References: Yotsidi, V., & Kounenou, K. (2018). Experiences of mental health service users on their empowerment and social integration in the community. The European Journal of Counselling Psychology, 7, 165–180.