The Art of Questioning

As I have gained ‘experience points’ in this Game of Life, I have come to recognize that wisdom begins with the art of questioning. Asking questions – truly asking, not simply seeking to hear the echoes of your own thoughts – is a brave thing to do. It requires the ability to recognize that we do not have the answers.

We do not have the answers, and, since our perspective is limited by what we already know (or think we know)…we may not even be aware of the right questions to ask.

I remember the trepidation I experienced as a new nurse, when a problem arose which I could not  handle on my own. I remember calling in help – a coworker, physician, supervisor. Did I complete the right steps? What was I missing?

Was I asking a foolish question?

Inevitably – too often to count – I walked away from the consultation feeling ridiculous, as those first mentors responded to me with more questions than I had answers. I got fed up with answering “I don’t know”, very quickly, but it took time, patience, and experience before I began to recognize and integrate their teachings.

When we don’t have the answers, we need to ask questions. Even if those questions – and the arising answers - challenge the suppositions that our brains have stored as data. Even – Especially – if those questions require that we return to earlier frameworks and question our earlier suppositions.

“I can’t get my TV to work!”

“Is it plugged in?”

“Of course!”

“Could you check it?”

I have watched those wise souls who have guided my path, practice the art of questioning, returning to what we presume, and asking questions around it. In scientific study, we would consider that “suspending bias”, but the practice is valid – perhaps even critical – every day, and in every setting.

Over time I have learned. The adage that “there are no stupid questions” is a potent guide toward a life of wisdom. The most difficult person to face in the asking of questions, the challenging of assumptions, is oneself.

And the practice is critical.

While I have gained the thick skin of experience, I see the discomfort that was so familiar to me, on the lines of the faces of those who have consulted with me, over time. The underlying fear of a foolish question, that moment our Ego comes to our rescue to save us from a painful fall. I have done my best to imitate my mentor's fearlessness in asking questions. I have tried to demonstrate respect to the person who I am consulting with – for the bravery of asking.

As I have aged, I still catch myself fearing to ask a foolish question…but I practice doing it anyway.

What is your experience in questioning?